A Fairytale

Once upon a time there was a tiny baby inside his mommy's tummy. This baby was named Prince Bennett. His mommy and daddy, who were the much loved and adored King and Queen over all the land, were very excited to meet their darling new prince. And so they went to the doctor (frequently) to see Bennett inside his mommy's tummy. You see, the Queen had developed Gestational Diabetes, and the one perk of this was that they got ultrasounds almost every week. Bennett's mommy and daddy loved these visits, but there was one problem. They never saw Prince Bennett's face in the ultrasounds. Ever. Why was this, you may ask? Because tiny baby Bennett had a serious problem with keeping his hands out of his mouth. They were in there literally from conception until the day he was born. Bennett loved his hands!

The day Bennett was born was a very happy day in the Hargrave kingdom. The people throughout all the land rejoiced when they saw what a beautiful, healthy baby boy Bennett was. Bennett's mommy, however, is (and probably always will be, unfortunately) a serious nail biter. She has gone her entire life hearing the words "Get your hands out of your mouth!" and she did not want this same horrible fate for her tiny new son. Who's hands were still glued to his mouth.

And so a pacifier was wisely purchased. Actually, two pacifiers were wisely purchased. One for the crib at nighttime, and one for everywhere else during the day. And that's all the pacifiers Bennett has ever had.

At first little Bennett did not appreciate the pacifier. He would scream and fuss if anybody put it in, and then immediately spit it out and find his hands again. Well, this would not do! Bennett's mommy and daddy knew that getting rid of a pacifier in a few years would be a lot easier than getting rid of his hands, and so they persisted.

Eventually, Prince Bennett grew to love his paci. And so did the King and Queen. It was a wonderful tool, used at nap times and bedtimes, in the car and at church. Usually Bennett's mommy would not allow the paci to stay very long in Bennett's little mouth, because it drives her crazy when small children have a paci in their mouths for no reason whatsoever all day long. And so it was never a very noticeable item, but a very important one, nonetheless.

Soon, Baby Bennett began to grow and grow until he became Little Boy Bennett. His mommy and daddy loved him very much, and tried to take him to all sorts of fun places and activities. One day, when he was exactly 14 months old, Bennett's mommy and daddy took him to Sea World. A magical land full of fish and overpriced food. Bennett loved Sea World, and so did his mommy and daddy. In fact, they loved it so much they didn't even notice Bennett's wonderful paci (which was the only one they had taken with them on their trip) had gone missing until they were in their chambers preparing for bed that night. Needless to say, it was a long, fitful night for the entire kingdom.

Bennett's mommy seriously considered sending the King out to purchase a new daytime paci for Prince Bennett. But, being the beautiful, kind, and very intelligent Queen that she was, she wisely informed Bennett that the daytime paci was no more, and that from that point on he would simply have to make due with just his nighttime paci. Of course, the wise King and Queen cheated on Sundays and on long car trips, where the bedtime paci would be allowed to accompany Prince Bennett at all times. And peace abounded throughout the kingdom.

Then, one Sunday, as the Royal Hargrave Family was sitting in church, Bennett's mommy looked down at the paci she had in her hands to realize there was a serious problem with the rubber tip little Bennett loved so much. A series of small holes lined the rubber mouth piece just above where it met the plastic holder at the bottom. She cringed at this development, knowing that the rubber could tear completely away from the plastic any day, and also knowing that she was not completely ready to handle Prince Bennett without the aid of his magical paci. Both she and the King had made a solemn vow, however, that once this beloved companion was gone, it was gone for good. And so together, they hoped and prayed that Prince Bennett would be kind to his paci (and kind to them) by not completely destroying it too soon.

But alas! Bennett's mommy and daddy had prayed in vain. For as soon as young Bennett discovered that he could insert his teeth into the small holes and then violently rip the rubber away, all was lost.

And so, on September 9th, 2010, Bennett's mommy put him to bed with his paci, which was hanging by a thread of rubber at this point, and then she went to write some royal decrees on her laptop. When suddenly, there was a horrible shriek from Bennett's room. She ran to see what the matter was, and found Prince Bennett standing in his crib, holding the plastic bottom of his paci in one hand and what was left of the rubber tip in the other. The look of panic on his face was both sad and humorous at the same time, and the Queen had a hard time keeping a straight face as she explained to the bewildered Prince that he had broken his paci. That it could not be used anymore, and that there would not be a new one.

Bennett's mommy held her breath as she broke this news to her small son, silently hoping they would not be re-living the horrible night they had experienced in the land of Sea World for the next several weeks. Bennett, however, accepted the news with ease. He simply took the plastic paci bottom and the rubber paci top, handed it to his mommy, laid down, and went to sleep.

And that was that.

The King and Queen couldn't believe their luck! Prince Bennett has since adjusted to life without a paci as though he had never had one. He never asks for it, he never looks for it. And he never uses his hands. It's just gone and he's cool with that. The King and Queen, however, are having a harder time with the separation, since Bennett has grown to be quite the loud and rambunctious child. Especially in church, where a paci would undoubtedly be welcome at times.

In the end, however, Bennett's mommy and daddy are very proud of their fine son. He makes them very happy, and will one day be an excellent ruler in the continued rise of the Hargrave Kingdom. And so, my dear friends, the dawning of a new era has begun with the concluding of this story.

And they all lived happily ever after.

On to potty training!!
This is obviously joke. That feat is a far and distant thought to me at the moment...