1- I can pay bills all by myself. I know this might make me sound sort of incompetent, but until Matt left I had only paid our bills once...and it wasn't pretty. I mean, I always knew what our bills were and how much they were and where they all went, I just never did it. Matt was so good at paying them I didn't see much point in both of us sitting in front of the computer screen. Now however, I am a bill-paying, credit-card saving, spending-on-a-budget type person who shops with a list in one hand and a calculator in the other. It's really kind of fun. I probably should have started doing this a long time ago...
2- Car rides do not have to be peaceful. Or fast. Before, Matt and I had a rule that whoever wasn't driving was in charge of Bennett. You know, getting him his sippy cup, feeding him small pieces of food, wiping his nose, handing him toys...your basic parenting stuff. Add in the fact that Bennett is a naturally excellent traveler, and we usually had smooth and enjoyable trips. Well guess what? Now that it is just me and Bennett in the car, long trips have taken on a life of their own.
For example, I have become quite skilled at throwing items from the front of the car to the back seat without taking my eyes off the road. I have only hit Bennett in the head with these items once or twice. I have also developed Stretch Armstrong abilities to reach him with one hand while keeping my other on the wheel. (I am sure my shoulder will have permanent damage after this year.) And our strict, "No Food in the Car" rule has gone out the window (sorry Matt) since Bennett has to eat and I have to drive. It's not always a clean experience. Who am I kidding? It's never a clean experience. Good thing we own a shop vac.
Time is also an unimportant factor now, because if Bennett has a runny nose, or a dirty diaper, or he hit himself in the face with a toy (or I accidentally hit him while catapulting objects) and he is crying inconsolably, I have learned to just pull over on the side of the road and take care of the problem. It sure beats driving with a screaming child in the backseat. Which is the last thing I have learned about car trips now that Matt is away. As horrible as it might sound, I have come to accept the fact that sometimes there is nothing I can do but turn the music up and drown the crying out. And that's OK. Because we will all still be alive in the end. Poor Bennett really misses the old days. :)
3- I can do manly things. Like mowing, weed eating, edging, fertilizing, and watering the yards. I can also hang blinds, paint rooms, replace batteries, wash the car, change oil, and use basic tools such as a hammer and screwdriver. Again, these are things I have always known I could do. I just never did them because there was this super handy guy living in my home who actually enjoyed doing these things. I'll have you know, however, that a lady down the street complimented me yesterday on how good our yard was looking. I am still beaming.
4- I can do grown-up things. I can call companies on the phone if I have questions or concerns about a service. I can schedule appointments with doctors, dentists, and car maintenance people. I can order a pizza over the phone. I can make decisions and tell people what those are, even if those people might not like it. I can say "No" and not feel guilty about it. I am a grown-up!
5- Matt's pillow is an excellent listener. Whenever I go to bed at night I feel like I have so much to say about the day. Usually Matt is the receiver of all my pent-up thoughts and feelings, but now that he is gone I needed something else to vent to. So, at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I sit in bed at night and talk to Matt's Pillow. I tell that pillow everything that is going on in my life. All my worries, all my frustrations, all my funny stories and interesting facts of the day. And let me tell you, that pillow is one great listener. It knows everything about me. It really gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "pillow talk" (Wow. I never realized how silly this was until I just wrote it out for the entire World to see. I promise I'm not crazy.) I will usually write down what I say to Matt's Pillow and tell it to Matt himself the next day over Skype, but the pillow gets to hear it first.
6- I can ask for help. Sometimes I need a babysitter, or a friend, or somebody who is willing to listen to me talk (a real person, not just a pillow). Sometimes I need to get out of the house. Sometimes I have questions about how to do something, or where something goes. In these, and many more, circumstances, I have learned to ask for help. To ask people my questions. To invite people over if I'm lonely or bored. To request a babysitter so I can go to appointments or just get out of the house for a little. There is nothing wrong with this, and I am just barely starting to realize it. I guess it is my pride that has been stopping me from doing these things, or making me feel guilty about it. People are so nice and understanding, I should really give them more credit. Thank you to all those who have been there for us. Thanks for the help!
Bennett has learned something since Matt has been away, too. He has learned that anything electronic equals Daddy. A camera? Daddy. A computer? Daddy. A cell phone? Daddy. All day long Bennett talks about his daddy. Every picture he sees of Matt, every Army guy in uniform, every time the phone rings, Bennett informs me that it is "ma Da-ty!" (My Daddy). I really don't know if he understands where Matt is or why he is gone. I do know he loves to talk to him and kiss his picture goodnight and good morning. He is such a good boy.
Our first attempt of talking to Matt usually goes like this. Dang the glowing blue Internet button. Bennett is drawn to that like a moth to a flame.
Here's our second attempt. I love how Matt says "bye" at the end but his mouth doesn't move because the connection was slow. So typical of Skype. We really are lucky to be able to talk to and see him so often, though. We are big fans of technology here.
I know it's dark, but this is what we do every night after we read our scriptures and say our prayers, and before we go to bed. Bennett gives great kisses.
Anyway, these are some of the exciting things we've learned over the last month or so. I'm sure we will learn many more things in the coming year, like how to pay taxes, start a fire in the fireplace, travel with a two-year-old, etc. etc. But we will take on those challenges when we get to them. Live and learn, right?
One down, eleven to go! :)
Our beautiful yard after Bennett and I worked on it all day. Bennett really was a big helper on this day. He helped me sweep, collect garbage and weeds, fertilize, and managed to keep his feet and hands away from the lawnmower blades. An accomplishment for any 18-month old.
Looking for airplanes. Airplanes and buttons are two things Bennett obsesses over these days.
Bennett in his "sandbox." A friend gave this to us. It is literally a box with sand in it, but that's all Bennett needs. Just enough to get filthy each morning.
You would not believe the amount of sand in this kids blond hair. I know you can't see it, but it's there...
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