So I haven't really talked a whole lot about this pregnancy because to be honest, this baby just feels like he is already a part of our family and not a "big deal." (every baby is a big deal though. I do realize that.) But I know that one day I will look back on this blog and think, "Why didn't I ever say anything about that time?" and I will regret it. So here are a few of my personal thoughts, mostly for my own benefit...
1- This baby is late (according to our time frame). Matt and I really planned on spacing our kids out right around two years apart. But when your husband lives in a different country for a year without you, child spacing is sort of a hard thing to control. So baby #2 will be making his appearance when Bennett is almost three and a half...WAY older than we thought. However, there are advantages to Bennett's old age which we appreciate. Like potty training. And the fact that he totally gets what is going on, and is genuinely excited to get to meet his new little brother. Of course, we will have to see what happens once said little brother arrives. :) I also think Heavenly Father knew that with the kind of pregnancies I have, I really needed a partner there to help me through all the yucky stuff. And if everything had gone according to our plans, that would not have happened and I would have been on my own with a toddler and a husband fighting in a war. Heavenly Father is so smart and I am SO grateful.
2- My body does not like being pregnant. At all. Mentally, I could be pregnant forever. I love it! But physically my body has a hard time adjusting to supporting two, which results in a lot of time spent over the toilet and at various doctor's and nationalist's office. With Bennett I was at least mildly sick the entire nine months, which meant I always needed to know where the nearest toilet was located. With this baby, I was in a literal fetal position for the first four months, but only threw up a handful of times. (Which was waaaaay more awful than throwing up and getting it over with, just so you know.) But then one day it's like somebody just turned off the sickness and I was back to normal. I still have all the regular pregnancy symptoms, but welcoming death is no longer one of them. So as far as I am concerned, life is good. And besides, my theory is that hard pregnancies makes for great babies. At least it was true with the first one. :)
3- I always knew this baby was a boy. Because my sickness (or lack thereof) and the way I am carrying this baby is so different than it was with Bennett, I totally thought we were having a little girl for the longest time. But even as I was telling people (and telling myself) that I knew he was a she, a little voice kept telling me I was wrong. So on the day of the ultrasound I was not surprised at all to find out that voice was right. What I was surprised at was how HAPPY I was! I sort of expected to be a little let down in all of my frilly pink dreams, but it was the exact opposite. It was almost like a sigh of relief was let go somewhere in my brain, and I was just so genuinely excited about having another little boy. One day down the road we may have a little girl, and I will thoroughly enjoy every lacy-dressed, headbanded moment. But for now I am more than content to be the mommy of little boys. I like little boys.
4- I have gestational diabetes. Again. When they told me I cried all the way home from the doctor's office. Having this with Bennett was horrible and I was literally starving for the last trimester of his pregnancy. And while it was nice to leave the hospital in my regular jeans, I was seriously depressed when I found out I was going to have to follow that stinking diet again with this one. However, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that, while counting every carbohydrate I consume and taking sugar readings four times a day is not very fun, it is much, MUCH more doable this time around. Maybe because I'm not sick like I was with Bennett, or maybe because I am more distracted living everyday life so I don't notice the hunger as much. Whatever the reason, I am happy it isn't as big of a deal as I feared it would be in the beginning.
5- I am getting a C-Section. When you are in the military (well, at least here) you get a midwife instead of a doctor. At first that freaked me out, because I sort of like doctors when it comes to delivering a baby. But it turns out the only real difference between the two is the title and the fact that midwifes like things to be au-natural. Which I am all for. However, Bennett literally destroyed me when he was violently vacuumed into this world, and both my last doctor and the plastic surgeon who had to fix me up told us that IF we ever had more children, they STRONGLY recommended we do it C-section. When I told that to my midwife, she was none too pleased. Luckily, I was little more concerned about the fact that I could lose permanent control of my bowl movements than I was with her feelings, and I didn't really care what she thought. Then I got diabetes and was moved to the "High Risk Pregnancy" doctors anyway, who are the ones who do the C-sections and are much more cool with it. So long story short, this baby will come on a very specific day, at a very specific time. Which makes it nice for calendaring. Although I am still a little nervous about the actual surgery part...
6- This baby is a vampire. If you have ever seen the last Twilight movie that came out, you have seen my pregnancy. It's like this kid has super strength and agility and he spends ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT taking it out on my internal organs (bladder, specifically). He has no sleep schedule. It is just constant movement. Constant. Today, for example, we had a doctor's appointment and it took the nurse 10 minutes to get a good heartbeat reading because Mr. Who wouldn't stop flipping around in there. And it hurts. A few weeks ago he literally kicked me so hard he bruised me from the inside out. I didn't even know that could happen! This seriously must be what Superman's mom felt like. They say that the inter-utero personality is a good indicator of what the baby will be like when they are born, and if that is true I am legitimately scared for what the future holds. We are going to teach Bennett how to box so I can feel safe leaving them alone together in the same room when he's born. At least I am very certain this little guy is growing healthy and strong...very strong...
7- I am carrying LOW and straight out front. Like a triangle. I have no idea where this baby is going to go when he "drops" unless it is to my knees. As a result, I do not feel like a glowing mother-to-be as I did with cute little round Bennett. I feel more like a sideshow freak at a circus. And I must be looking extremely pregnant lately, because people's comments have gone from, "When are you due?" To "WHEN are you DUE??!!" They give me sympathetic looks when I tell them not for almost two more months--which is an absolutely correct response on their part. The third trimester exhaustion has officially kicked in, along with the narcoleptic insomnia (to coin a phrase). And even though he is so dang low, I swear it is affecting my lungs somehow because I am literally out of breath all of the time. I lay in bed at night and pant. I am so ready to have this baby!
8- I am so not ready to have this baby! I mean, of course we are excited. The room is almost finished, the clothes are washed and hanging up, the diapers are bought and waiting. We watched Bennett's birth video the other night and I was crying (shocker) because of how wonderful that moment was, and I couldn't wait to meet our next little one. But at the same time I am terrified. I feel like I am starting from scratch here. I walk down the baby isle at Wal-Mart and think, "We are really going to do this again. The baby food and the diapers and the spit up (please no!) What were we thinking?!" But there is no turning back now, and I wouldn't turn back even if I could. It is just a little scary to realize that the idea of having two kids is going to become a reality in just a matter of weeks.
9- Matt has a very, very good chance of deploying again very, very soon. Which is probably why I am so apprehensive about the whole "two kids" thing. And while we have already done this before, and actually had a lot of fun and really grew from it, I am just a little bit scared to face another nine months or so alone with an almost four-year-old little boy and a newborn. And how do you even balance those two worlds with two parents, let alone all by yourself? And how do I travel like that? (NOT by flying, I'll tell you that now). And how do I keep them both happy? And how do I get sleep? Or sanity? I am nervous, to say the least. Although, I also know that we will do whatever we have to do and everything will work out for the best and probably be just fine. But am I scared? Yes. Very. But can I do it? Yes. Absolutly.
10- We are so blessed. I am afraid some of what I have written here has come off as complaints...and I guess some of it is (I mean seriously? Stop kicking my kidneys!) But for the most part I am just happy. So, so very happy. Heavenly Father has taken such wonderful care of us and our little family. It is easy to complain about things like pregnancy and deployment schedules. But guess what? That is called life. And as far as I am concerned, I have been blessed with a pretty dang good one. I honestly can't think of anything else I would rather be doing right now than exactly what I am doing, and I am so thankful for that amazing opportunity! In just a few short weeks we will get to meet this new amazing life growing inside me, and I can't wait. I love my life. I love my family. We truly have been so blessed.
So lets have a baby!!
1- This baby is late (according to our time frame). Matt and I really planned on spacing our kids out right around two years apart. But when your husband lives in a different country for a year without you, child spacing is sort of a hard thing to control. So baby #2 will be making his appearance when Bennett is almost three and a half...WAY older than we thought. However, there are advantages to Bennett's old age which we appreciate. Like potty training. And the fact that he totally gets what is going on, and is genuinely excited to get to meet his new little brother. Of course, we will have to see what happens once said little brother arrives. :) I also think Heavenly Father knew that with the kind of pregnancies I have, I really needed a partner there to help me through all the yucky stuff. And if everything had gone according to our plans, that would not have happened and I would have been on my own with a toddler and a husband fighting in a war. Heavenly Father is so smart and I am SO grateful.
2- My body does not like being pregnant. At all. Mentally, I could be pregnant forever. I love it! But physically my body has a hard time adjusting to supporting two, which results in a lot of time spent over the toilet and at various doctor's and nationalist's office. With Bennett I was at least mildly sick the entire nine months, which meant I always needed to know where the nearest toilet was located. With this baby, I was in a literal fetal position for the first four months, but only threw up a handful of times. (Which was waaaaay more awful than throwing up and getting it over with, just so you know.) But then one day it's like somebody just turned off the sickness and I was back to normal. I still have all the regular pregnancy symptoms, but welcoming death is no longer one of them. So as far as I am concerned, life is good. And besides, my theory is that hard pregnancies makes for great babies. At least it was true with the first one. :)
3- I always knew this baby was a boy. Because my sickness (or lack thereof) and the way I am carrying this baby is so different than it was with Bennett, I totally thought we were having a little girl for the longest time. But even as I was telling people (and telling myself) that I knew he was a she, a little voice kept telling me I was wrong. So on the day of the ultrasound I was not surprised at all to find out that voice was right. What I was surprised at was how HAPPY I was! I sort of expected to be a little let down in all of my frilly pink dreams, but it was the exact opposite. It was almost like a sigh of relief was let go somewhere in my brain, and I was just so genuinely excited about having another little boy. One day down the road we may have a little girl, and I will thoroughly enjoy every lacy-dressed, headbanded moment. But for now I am more than content to be the mommy of little boys. I like little boys.
4- I have gestational diabetes. Again. When they told me I cried all the way home from the doctor's office. Having this with Bennett was horrible and I was literally starving for the last trimester of his pregnancy. And while it was nice to leave the hospital in my regular jeans, I was seriously depressed when I found out I was going to have to follow that stinking diet again with this one. However, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that, while counting every carbohydrate I consume and taking sugar readings four times a day is not very fun, it is much, MUCH more doable this time around. Maybe because I'm not sick like I was with Bennett, or maybe because I am more distracted living everyday life so I don't notice the hunger as much. Whatever the reason, I am happy it isn't as big of a deal as I feared it would be in the beginning.
5- I am getting a C-Section. When you are in the military (well, at least here) you get a midwife instead of a doctor. At first that freaked me out, because I sort of like doctors when it comes to delivering a baby. But it turns out the only real difference between the two is the title and the fact that midwifes like things to be au-natural. Which I am all for. However, Bennett literally destroyed me when he was violently vacuumed into this world, and both my last doctor and the plastic surgeon who had to fix me up told us that IF we ever had more children, they STRONGLY recommended we do it C-section. When I told that to my midwife, she was none too pleased. Luckily, I was little more concerned about the fact that I could lose permanent control of my bowl movements than I was with her feelings, and I didn't really care what she thought. Then I got diabetes and was moved to the "High Risk Pregnancy" doctors anyway, who are the ones who do the C-sections and are much more cool with it. So long story short, this baby will come on a very specific day, at a very specific time. Which makes it nice for calendaring. Although I am still a little nervous about the actual surgery part...
6- This baby is a vampire. If you have ever seen the last Twilight movie that came out, you have seen my pregnancy. It's like this kid has super strength and agility and he spends ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT taking it out on my internal organs (bladder, specifically). He has no sleep schedule. It is just constant movement. Constant. Today, for example, we had a doctor's appointment and it took the nurse 10 minutes to get a good heartbeat reading because Mr. Who wouldn't stop flipping around in there. And it hurts. A few weeks ago he literally kicked me so hard he bruised me from the inside out. I didn't even know that could happen! This seriously must be what Superman's mom felt like. They say that the inter-utero personality is a good indicator of what the baby will be like when they are born, and if that is true I am legitimately scared for what the future holds. We are going to teach Bennett how to box so I can feel safe leaving them alone together in the same room when he's born. At least I am very certain this little guy is growing healthy and strong...very strong...
7- I am carrying LOW and straight out front. Like a triangle. I have no idea where this baby is going to go when he "drops" unless it is to my knees. As a result, I do not feel like a glowing mother-to-be as I did with cute little round Bennett. I feel more like a sideshow freak at a circus. And I must be looking extremely pregnant lately, because people's comments have gone from, "When are you due?" To "WHEN are you DUE??!!" They give me sympathetic looks when I tell them not for almost two more months--which is an absolutely correct response on their part. The third trimester exhaustion has officially kicked in, along with the narcoleptic insomnia (to coin a phrase). And even though he is so dang low, I swear it is affecting my lungs somehow because I am literally out of breath all of the time. I lay in bed at night and pant. I am so ready to have this baby!
8- I am so not ready to have this baby! I mean, of course we are excited. The room is almost finished, the clothes are washed and hanging up, the diapers are bought and waiting. We watched Bennett's birth video the other night and I was crying (shocker) because of how wonderful that moment was, and I couldn't wait to meet our next little one. But at the same time I am terrified. I feel like I am starting from scratch here. I walk down the baby isle at Wal-Mart and think, "We are really going to do this again. The baby food and the diapers and the spit up (please no!) What were we thinking?!" But there is no turning back now, and I wouldn't turn back even if I could. It is just a little scary to realize that the idea of having two kids is going to become a reality in just a matter of weeks.
9- Matt has a very, very good chance of deploying again very, very soon. Which is probably why I am so apprehensive about the whole "two kids" thing. And while we have already done this before, and actually had a lot of fun and really grew from it, I am just a little bit scared to face another nine months or so alone with an almost four-year-old little boy and a newborn. And how do you even balance those two worlds with two parents, let alone all by yourself? And how do I travel like that? (NOT by flying, I'll tell you that now). And how do I keep them both happy? And how do I get sleep? Or sanity? I am nervous, to say the least. Although, I also know that we will do whatever we have to do and everything will work out for the best and probably be just fine. But am I scared? Yes. Very. But can I do it? Yes. Absolutly.
10- We are so blessed. I am afraid some of what I have written here has come off as complaints...and I guess some of it is (I mean seriously? Stop kicking my kidneys!) But for the most part I am just happy. So, so very happy. Heavenly Father has taken such wonderful care of us and our little family. It is easy to complain about things like pregnancy and deployment schedules. But guess what? That is called life. And as far as I am concerned, I have been blessed with a pretty dang good one. I honestly can't think of anything else I would rather be doing right now than exactly what I am doing, and I am so thankful for that amazing opportunity! In just a few short weeks we will get to meet this new amazing life growing inside me, and I can't wait. I love my life. I love my family. We truly have been so blessed.
So lets have a baby!!
4 comments:
19Well said, Hay! You are coming down the homestretch and that's a tough one, but you've done it before, both metaphorically and realistically, and you made it. Hang in there! I'll be there to help and I can't wait to meet this little guy either!
Love, Mom
I also felt like "what are we thinking?!" and sometimes still do. I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds but I used a post deliery abdominal binder with Otto and loved it and I've heard they're really great for c-sections.
http://www.amazon.com/Underworks-Post-Delivery-Girdle-Belt/dp/B0002UCES4/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1339857800&sr=8-7&keywords=abdominal+binder
Is the link to the one I got. good luck! luv ya!
I'm sooo excited to be a grandpa again. You and Matt make good little boys and I can't wait to meet the newcomer. I love all you guys,
Love,
Dad (Greg and Grandpa)
While reading this I couldn't help but feel like you were writing my feelings. I totally thought baby was a girl, but then wasn't surprised to find out he was a boy. I'm totally carrying low too and so not ready to have another kid but of course thrilled. And of course our kids are exactly the same spaced! And looking at your pictures you do look like a glowing mom! Scheduled due dates are the best cause you can plan every detail and even put make up on for it, haha. You might even have your baby before me!
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