Love and Logic

I am a huge fan of Love and Logic. Bennett has been raised by this technique since my mom sent me a book on it when he was just a few months old. He has always been, shall we say, "active" and this parenting technique has been a wonderful tool in my life. It's all about helping kids learn to make their own choices, and then living with the natural consequences of those choices. It's great. Seriously.

Recently though, Bennett has been acting very three and I have found myself doing a lot more scolding and yelling than loving and logic-ing. And it was no fun. So I started re-reading my book, and I am getting back on track now. It has saved my sanity and Bennett's life more than a few times already. I didn't realize just HOW much I was using these techniques, though, until today.

Since Bennett had decided he is too old for naps lately, we just have a "rest" period, where he is to stay in his room until a timer goes off and then he can come back out. I don't care what he does in there, as long as he does it quietly (because you better believe that I am passed out on the couch during this time) and as long as he cleans it up afterwards. Today, for example, Bennett spent the entire time rearranging his room. This is something he is very into lately, as he carefully takes obscure items from around whatever room he is in, and moves them slightly to the left or turns them around backwards. It is an intense process. 

So today, as I was laying down, I heard a noise I couldn't quite place coming from his room, and I went to take a look. Bennett was taking a break from his rearranging and playing with his firetruck. Here is the conversation we had.

Me: What are you doing?
Bennett: I'm playing with my firetruck.
Me: OK...Oh wait! We forgot! Remember today at the gym, when you wouldn't share any toys with the other little boys and girls? (Like I said. Three.)
Bennett: Yes.
Me: And remember how we decided that since you couldn't share your toys at the gym, we would have to put all of your toys at home away until you could go back to the gym tomorrow and try again?
Bennett: Yes.
Me: And is your firetruck a toy?
Bennett: Yes...but wait!!
Me: I'm so sorry, Bennett! We just forgot to put this one away! It makes me sad we can't play with your firetruck, though. But we'll try again tomorrow, and maybe you can get it back. I'll go put this in the closet with the other toys we already cleaned up today.
Bennett (looking very serious): Wait, Mommy! If you take that firetruck, I am going to stop rearranging my room.
Me (hesitating slightly): OK, well if that's what you feel like you need to do, then I guess that's OK.
Bennett: But Mom! You have two choices. You can give me that firetruck and I will be happy and keep rearranging my room, or you can put that firetruck in the closet and I will NOT keep rearranging my room.
Me (suddenly realizing he is using Love and Logic, and finding it very hard to not just start laughing out loud): Well, I think I am just going to go put this in the closet anyway, Buddy.
Bennett (very authoritatively): OK Mom. But that's your choice. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Me (really trying to keep it under control): OK, thanks for understanding Bennett. I love you.
Bennett: I love you, too.

I guess all that Love and Logic really is paying off. He might just be better at it than I am :)