The Week I Missed

This picture was taken on Wednesday, March 31, 2010, at 3:42pm. Exactly one year ago at this time, Bennett took his first breath of life. It absolutely amazes me how our tiny newborn morphed into this oh-so photogenic little boy.

Bennett's actual birthday day was pretty uneventful, besides the fact that he was utterly exhausted from the crazy vagabond lifestyle we have been living lately. He was also a little sick with Hand Foot Mouth Disease (he got a fever and this weird rash, but nothing too bad). Ironic that the day we celebrated his birth was the same day he was grumpier than at any other point in his entire one year of life. Ugh.

I did make him his special "birthday dinner" though, which consisted of all his favorite foods--fruits, vegetables, and noodles. He is a very healthy eater. Hopefully this trend continues.

Here he is before (no, we do not usually give him this much food...or a ceramic plate. It was a one-time thing, believe me.)

And this is after dinner. He hasn't really grasped the concept of eating within boundaries yet, but we try. Goodness, we try...

That was Wednesday. Thursday I hosted my book club. We had read "Walk Two Moons" by Sharon Chreech which is a classic. (Actually, I picked it because you can read it in a single afternoon.) Throughout the book there are several other stories being told, and they layer upon each other to build one complete storyline. I thought I would be crafty and play off this with a "layer themed" dinner. We had these super yummy baked ham and cheese sandwich things (a layer of bread, a layer of cheese, a layer of ham...), seven layer bean dip, layered fruit salad, Oreo pie, and pink lemonade with raspberries and lemon layers on top. It was delightful, if I do say so myself.

The presentation was a little thrown together, but the food itself was pretty dang good.

Unfortunately, because I had lost days with the funeral (see blog below) I had to go grocery shopping, make all this stuff, take Bennett to his one year well-baby appointment, and desperately try to get our house back in order, all within one afternoon before several women (who are all very put-together) descended upon our home. It was insane, but we made it with only one major breakdown on my part, and about a million on Bennett's. Allow me to illustrate this point...

My day in a nutshell.

I do not know what it was, but for two or three days in a row our happy little boy was replaced with this crying grump of a fellow. And on top of that, Bennett decided these three days would also be the best time to begin exploring his world--aka: bumps, bruises, falls, etc. In this picture he had somehow wedged himself between the refrigerator and the wall and couldn't get out. Being at my ropes end, I have to admit I let him sit there a little longer than I would have usually. I mean, honestly!

I feel like I need to end this section of the post by saying that we really do love Bennett very much. We have past those days now and are on to much better things (and better moods). And really, he wasn't stuck there that long...

Friday Matt began his four-day weekend, so of course much was accomplished around the house. He kicked off his vacation time by putting crown molding up around the master bedroom ceiling. How relaxing. This project required the use of many dangerous power tools, an extremely loud air compressor, and a ten foot tall ladder. Bennett was very involved with each of these items. If he makes it to adulthood, I think this kid could have a good chance of becoming a builder...or deaf.

I assumed Matt was watching Bennett, but when I walked in the room I saw this going on. Apparently, Bennett has discovered how to go up ladders. Now if we could only get him to figure out how to get down...

A few days ago, I suggested what I thought was a small household project to my handy husband. Nothing is ever small with Matt! Friday evening found us swinging hammers into walls and cutting out tiles. I would love to go into more detail here, but Matt has made me promise not to reveal our top-secret project until it is completely finished. And since Matt is away doing training exercises for the next week and a half, you will all have to be patient right along with me. Needless to say, Friday night was a very exciting time.

Saturday morning was Conference. I love Conference. I thoroughly enjoyed the first session laying on the couch while Bennett took a nap. It was blissfully peaceful. Directly after the closing prayer though, Matt and our friend Erik (who is also into building) decided it was time to delve back into "The Project." And that was the last quiet moment of my day. For the rest of the afternoon (and yes, right through the second session of Conference) there was a plethora of pounding, cutting, measuring and planning going on. We did manage to hear a few talks over the ruckus, and what we heard was very good.

We finished the night off by going over to a sweet older sisters' house and helping her feed the missionaries and a new member in our ward. She was very happy we all came and gave us big hugs and even cried before we left. Isn't it funny how sometimes such little things like eating dinner can mean to much to people? We are going back soon. :)

Sunday morning, Conference Brunch morning. We invited over the same family who joined us six months ago, and our new friendy-friends Erik and Joelle from down the street. All together we had six talkative adults and five noisy kids under the age of four. The beginning of the first session was a little lost in all of the hubbub. But again, what I did hear was very good...and a little depressing. Such sad stories were told this time, but I guess the messages that went with them were important.

Between the first and second sessions of Sunday Conference, we "celebrated" Easter. Matt and Erik had surprised me and Joelle with an Easter egg hunt. It was super fun, although it did make me realize that my competitive spirit runs a little unchecked at times. Anyway, here are some pictures and a video from the festivities.

Matt and Bennett in our backyard hammock. Bennett loves this thing. We love Bennett.

Erik and Joelle's little girl Brielle and Bennett in their Easter outfits. These two just adore each other, which is a little life-threatening to tiny Brielle right now, because Bennett has not quite figured out the term "gentle" just yet.

Before the Easter egg hunt between me and my friend began, we allowed our children to each find one egg. Here is Bennett with his prize.

And here he is enjoying the fruits of his labors. This kid has an unnaturally strong sweet tooth. We can only blame ourselves for giving him chocolate ice cream on his pacifier. Remind us to never write a parenting book.

Once the little guys had their fun it was time for the real showdown. I have to say, I definitely had the home court advantage, which was a little unfair, but Joelle still got a few...

I really did waste her in the egg count at the end. :)

Nacogdoches

On March 26th, Matt's family received the news that their Granddaddy Hargrave had passed away. We were at Mary and Wayne's house in San Antonio for Easter at the time, and much of the conversation that weekend revolved around him and the Hargrave family. However, because Matt had to be at work for some pretty crucial stuff on Monday, and the funeral was to be held Tuesday afternoon, we didn't plan on going.

Monday night at 5:20, Matt called on his way home from work to say he had changed his mind. By 5:45 we were in the car and headed four hours to Nacogdoches, Texas.

Allow me to just say that I had spent my entire Monday unpacking and doing way more laundry than I wanted from the Easter adventure when Matt's call came in. No rest for the weary around here.

Because we had to leave so fast, Bennett didn't get dinner until we could stop at a McDonald's along the way. Unfortunately, it was a little past his bedtime once we finally got it, and as hungry as he was, sleep won the battle in the end. He put up a good fight, though. Notice the half-eaten chicken nugget and sippy cup in his hands in this video...



The drive to and from Nacogdoches was gorgeous! "How could a place filled with cactus and rock possibly be gorgeous," you ask? Well, much to my delight and surprise, there are some very pretty areas in this state--and most of them are in East Texas. It reminded me of the Oregon coast, with super tall pine trees and tons of grass and bushes and wildflowers, wildflowers, wildflowers. Matt has always wanted to retire in Texas, and I have always said "no way jose", but in twelve years you can all come visit us in Nacogdoches, because that's where we'll be.

This is pretty much what it looked like the whole way. I felt like we were on a little road trip.

This picture does the moon no justice. It was incredible. Actually, it was a little annoying because it shinned so brightly it kept waking Bennett up. :)

When we arrived at our hotel in Nacogdoches we were greeted by Rachelle, Jake, Janell, and Sarah, who had driven over together for the funeral as well. We spent the night, ate breakfast and did a little swimming the next morning, and then headed over to Grandmommy's house.

I hadn't previously met this side of the family before and it had been awhile since Matt had seen them too, so it was very fun. It amazes me that even if you hadn't told me Matt was related to these new people, I could totally pick them out of a crowd as Hargraves. They were all built the same, they all talked the same, and they were all very...boisterous. Apparently, Matt comes by it honestly :) We had so much fun talking and meeting and oooing and awwing over Bennett, I almost forgot the real reason we were there. Almost.

Around noon we drove to the First Baptist Church where we were fed an excellent lunch. I never knew there were so many delicious ways to prepare potatoes. Afterwords we lined up with the family and entered the chapel.

I have been to very few funeral services. I have never been to a service for a family member. I have never been to a service that wasn't conducted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I thought the funeral service for Matt's graddaddy was beautiful.

When it was over, we headed back to the house for a quick change of clothes and some potato leftovers, and then we said our goodbyes and started back home. It was a fast and furious trip, but we both feel really happy that we got to be there.

Through it all, Grandmommy held up remarkably well.

Matt and his Grandmommy. Matt wore his dress blues to the funeral. He looks to me like he could fly a plane. What a handsome devil I married.

The "Bennett Fan Club."
(Of which I am the leader)

The Birthday Story

Every year on our birthdays growing up, my mom and dad would tell us the story of our birth. This is something that I looked forward to each year, even though I had the story memorized. And since it is Bennett's big day today, I just thought I would share with you the story of his birth...and also since we were slackers and never did this a year ago.

Bennett was born on March 31st, 2009, at 3:42 pm. It was a Tuesday, but this story begins on the Sunday before.

Matt and I were living with Mary and Wayne in their little cabin while we waited for the finishing touches to be completed on our home. We were over at their house making Sunday dinner when I started having some lower back pains. Mary informed me that this was how labor sometimes felt in the beginning stages, but since Bennett wasn't due until April 8th, we didn't really worry too much. Mary was scheduled to work the next day however (she is a neonatal nurse at the hospital where Bennett was delivered), so just to be safe, she decided to take the day off to stay at the house with me.

Monday morning I woke up feeling fine, but because Mary had taken the day off, and because Matt really, really didn't want Bennett to be born on April Fool's day, and because I wanted this baby out of me so I could eat like a human being again (remember the gestational diabetes??), we thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I did go into labor that day. So we started doing all sorts of things I was previously so careful not to do.

We went on vigorous walks in the morning and afternoon. We lifted heavy boxes and furniture onto the trailer which we used to move to our house. I jumped up and down. I cleaned floors on my hands and knees. We drove over bumpy roads. Basically we did just about anything that I thought would entice Bennett out of me. By the time Matt got home from work that night I was exhausted, but still no signs of labor.

Maybe it was all the activity from the day, or maybe my body knew what was about to happen, but boy was I g-r-u-m-p-y that night. Poor Matt. Anything he did was worthy of severe punishment, even though he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. The house wasn't clean enough, the heat was up too high, the TV was too loud, the dinner was burned, etc. I was on a raging warpath, and my poor, confused husband thought I had lost my mind. He finally gave up trying to be nice to me and just went to bed early. I can't say that I blame him.

I stayed up a little longer and scrubbed the cabin with unusual energy. By the time I got to bed it was 11:00 at night, and Matt was already asleep. I was still inexplicably mad at him, even though I knew it was silly, so I just got in bed too and tried to close my eyes.

It was about this time I felt the first little contraction.

I had never had a baby before, so I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was a contraction or something else. I tried to go to sleep again, but Bennett would have none of it. Pretty soon my contractions were coming pretty regularly at ten minutes apart, and I had to get out of bed and walk around in circles for them to feel better. I didn't wake up Matt to tell him what was going on until around 3:00 in the morning, at which point they were about seven minutes apart. Matt jumped out of bed like it was Christmas morning and started running around the house getting things ready. I got in the shower and did my hair and makeup.

Around 4:00am we called Mary and Wayne and my mom and dad in Idaho and told them "it was time." Mary and Wayne came over from their house and Matt and Wayne gave me and Bennett a blessing before Matt and Mary (who would be my nurse) loaded me up in the car and drove the 30 minutes to North Central Baptist Hospital in San Antonio. By the time we got there the contractions were a steady three minutes apart, and I was feeling rather uncomfortable.

Inside our large, hotel-like hospital room, I was offered an epidural but turned it down. I was determined to do this thing for as long as possible on my own. And really, I was doing much better than I had thought I would. A few hours later they said I was dilated to a seven, but they needed to break my water to make any more progress. They did so. I asked for drugs.

Not an epidural though, just a half dose of "happy drugs"...and this is about where my side of the story ends. All I remember from here on out is a bunch people asking me questions my mind would not respond to, no matter how hard I tried. In the words of one of my African-American nurses, "Don't you never do no drugs, honey. You are a lightweight."

I do remember Matt asking me if I finally wanted an epidural, because I was dilated to an eight and the anesthesiologist was leaving the wing and wouldn't be back until much later. It was a now or never thing, so I said yes. I guess when they were trying to give it to me though, I was so drugged I kept fighting them off, so Matt had to basically sit on top of me and I yelled at him. I do remember that. Sorry Mattie. :)

The next thing I knew it was several hours later and there were about a million people in the room with me, all telling me to push. One side of me feels like this moment lasted a few seconds, and the other side of me feels like it lasted a few years. I later learned I pushed for 45 minutes. People kept telling me they could see the head, but for some reason it took an incredibly long time for the rest of the body to follow. I remember my doctor looking really worried and thinking "that's not good" and then I heard him say he was going to use the vacuum to get him out. I guess Bennett had twisted into some awkward position where he was sideways and stuck. In one quick move, Dr. Feinstein simultaneously gave me an episiotomy, and sucked out 7-pound 14-ounce Bennett.

A baby coming out of you is the best feeling in the world.

Unfortunately, I still tore to a four, which is as far as you could ever tear during childbirth, and I guess it was pretty bad. Matt compared me to a gutted fish (thank you for that visual, Matthew). There was a lot of blood, so they called in a plastic surgeon to help fix me up. It took about six months to fully recover from this, but it was so dang worth it. I would do it again in a second...even though I am medically unable to, and must have the remainder of our children through C-Section.

Once Mary, who was my nurse, checked Bennett's vitals and sugars and made sure he was OK, they washed him up and put a little hat over his horribly misshapen head. And then they gave him to me to hold. He was crying a little, and Matt came over and said, "Hey buddy, it's your Daddy." Bennett looked right over at Matt and stopped crying. His whole body just relaxed, and it was one of the best moments ever. That was when I knew we were a family. Matt was beside himself happy, and so was I.

We still are, everyday.

Because I tore so bad, they treated me like a C-Section patient and made us stay in the hospital for three of the loooooongest days of my life. I hated the TV by the time we left that room. They did feed us a steak dinner with sparkling cider though, and we had lots of visitors so that was cool.

Anyway, that is the story of Bennett, in great length and detail. The next few weeks were spent with many visitors (including my parents and grandparents),, and a whole lot of adjusting to life with a newborn while moving to a new home. I was scared out of my mind, I'm not going to lie. But look! It's been a whole year, and he is still alive! And we are extremely happy he is, because let me tell you, WE SURE LOVE THIS KID!

Matthew the Birthday Man

on March 27th, 1981, the world was blessed with the birth of my husband and bestest friend, Matthew Wayne Hargrave.

This year, Matt's birthday just happened to fall on the weekend of the annual Bell/Hargrave Easter party. And as much as we love Matt's wonderful family, I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to celebrate some of this special day with just the two of us. So, sneaky me (who later learned that Matthew is just as happy knowing an event is coming, rather than being surprised by it), went in on cahoots with both my parents and his to make this day truly unforgettable.

We arrived in San Antonio early Friday afternoon, where we unpacked our bags as usual. After a few hours of visiting, Mary sent Matt outside to get something for her, and I made my move. I quickly repacked mine and Matt's bags, threw them in the back of the car, and gave Mary and Grandma Pat (who drove down with us) a few instructions on Bennett. When Matt came back, we found an excuse to get him in the car, and we were off!

VICTORY! Halfway down the highway I told him our plans. We were going to the beautiful San Antonio River Walk, where we would stroll around and hold hands until it was time to eat at Texas Land and Cattle, where I had made a 5:00 dinner reservation.

Matt promptly changed these plans.

He had been up since 2:00 that morning leading his troops in land navigation exercises, and he was exhausted. I can't say that I blame him, poor guy. So at his request, we went to see a movie instead of walking around for hours. But because we hadn't planned on seeing a movie, we were forced to settle with whatever was playing at the time we got there. The only thing on was, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", which I thoroughly enjoyed, along with the 45 middle school-aged children we sat by. I think Matt's favorite part was when it ended. :)

After that we were back on track to the River Walk and dinner, which was fabulous. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera, so most of the following pictures were taken from the Internet.

This is the River Walk. We got there during the best part of the day, where the sun is almost down but not all the way, and the air has just a little bit of chill in it. It was beautiful. And yes, we held hands all the way into the restaurant. Matt got his dream steak and I got shrimp and we were both fat and happy by the time we left.

But wait, there's more!

After the River Walk we drove (through a very scary section of town...luckily we didn't stop there) to a gorgeous little bed and breakfast inside a renovated mansion, originally built in 1902, and spent the night. It was soooo cool!

The Ruckman Haus Bed and Breakfast.

The gardens.

Our room. Each room was tastefully themed after a different country. We stayed in the "English Room", which was very simple and classic, and had the coolest shower that sprayed from five different directions. It was life-changing. We spent the evening watching a movie and just enjoying each others' company. It was very nice.

The next morning they served us homemade Belgium Waffles for breakfast, and then we both decided we missed Bennett and it was time to go back.

On the way, we drove through the mansion neighborhoods and talked about how we will one day live in one (we can dream, right?). It was all great, until we went to turn onto the highway and our car wheel lost a bolt, so we ended up on the side of the road. Luckily, Matt is handy-dandy, and luckily there was an electrical crew doing repairs on a streetlamp right next to where we broke down. They worked together, along with a friend Matt called who lived in the area, and we were back on the road in 20 minutes. Thank goodness for good people everywhere!

When we finally made it to the house we found Bennett (who never even knew we had left) and began the Easter festivities with the family. After lunch, everybody sang "Happy Birthday" to Matt and Bennett and we all had cake and opened presents. It was a very successful birthday...but next year there will be NO surprises.

Matt, carrying out his traditional Birthday Bunt Cake. I have heart attacks over this silly cake every year, but everybody said it tasted good. I still think it could be perfected a little more. Next year, bunt cake, next year...

Matt opening his drill bit set.

Oooig and Awwwing over his golfing gloves.

Happy Birthday, Mattie! We love you!

Bennett the Birthday Boy

No, it's not really Bennett's birthday. Not yet. He was born on March 31st, 2009, but since his and Matt's birthdays are only four days apart we thought we would save ourselves the trouble of throwing two parties and just combine them into one this year. (It's not like he's going to remember anyway.) We did still try to make it special for him.

These are the cute...I mean handsome...matching shirts I made Matt and Bennett for their birthdays. They took me way longer to make than I expected because I am not the world's best sewer, but it was definitely worth it.

The birthday boy.

Contemplating how best to attack the awaiting cupcake.

I had a little video clip to put here of everybody singing and the blowing out of the candles, but it wouldn't work. Sorry. I think this is still a pretty good picture, though.

Bennett had no problems figuring out what to do with the cupcake in front of him. The entire thing was gone within just a few minutes. Yummy!

After cake it was time for presents. Bennett also had no trouble figuring out what to do with these. He was quite anxious to get all the paper off that box and see what was inside.

"OPEN THIS THING!"

And what was inside? The cutest little tool workbench and a bike helmet from Maimie and Pop! Bennett absolutely loves the bench. The helmet is tolerable. :) Matt and I gave Bennett most of his presents early (aka: his big car seat and new umbrella stroller), but we also gave him a tiny golf set on this day. He hasn't a clue what to do with it, but it makes a good chew toy anyway.

Happy early birthday, Bennett-Boo! We love you!

Easter Extravaganza

April 4th is officially Easter, but it is also officially conference weekend if you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...which we are. Therefore, we chose to celebrate Easter with the Bell/Hargrave family a little early this year. And what a celebration it was! Here are a few pictures (OK, a lot of pictures) of some of the fun things we did.

We ate--and ate, and ate, and ate...
(The word "ate" looks really funny if you write it a lot)

We played on the rope swing in Maimie and Pops backyard.

We painted our faces. Aunt Kim was the real artist, and I was the "you must be really desperate to have your face painted" artist. Luckily, most of my clients were under the age of four.

Did I mention we ate? :)

We celebrated lots of birthdays, including Kendall's, Kim's, Mary's, and of course, Matt's, and Bennett's, as mentioned in the previous postings above.

We played on the bounce house Maimie and Pop rented for the afternoon and got quite a workout at the same time.

Bennett going in the bounce house...

...Bennett coming out of the bounce house.

Matt, dunking his nephew Barrett through the basketball hoop. What a good uncle.

We played Easter BINGO and won fantastical prizes.

We had an Easter egg hunt with all the kids...

...and Bennett even legitimately found a few eggs on his own.

We helped him out just a little at the end.

We Shared and ate lots of candy with cousin Emma.

We took an updated family picture.

What a good-looking bunch we are.

We played a rousing game of Horseshoes.

We forced our children to wear silly headgear.

Bennett was considerate enough to remove the offensive band from his cousin Kendall's head.

We made new concealed handgun holsters.
(No, just kidding. This was all Matt and Wayne.)

And at the end of the day, we were tuckered out.